“Mommy, do you have to go to work today?”
I stop, turning from the door to give my little boy one more hug. He’s sitting on the couch in his pirate jammies, nose stuffed and eyes watering from the head cold that’s keeping him from school.”Yes, baby. I have to go to work today, but you’ll have fun with daddy.”
“But, I’m going to miss you.” His blue eyes cast their gaze downward.
I touch his cheek. “It’ll be okay, baby.” I bend to give his head a lingering kiss, taking the time to breathe him in. I will miss him, too.
Once more, I move toward the door. “Mommy?” He asks, a bright tone in his voice. I look back. “Mommy! I just remembered! I’ll be okay because I have lots and lots of loves in my heart!” I smile. With my face, my heart, and my soul.
“Yes, baby. You have lots and lots of loves.” We share a smile, the moment, and I walk out, closing the door behind me.
My heart is full.
For days, my son’s words float through me, and finally, they settle and I realize that my son not only feels loved, but he knows that he’s loved. In a world where so many words are left unsaid, and feelings are left for granted, I’ve purposed within myself to love my son intentionally. To me, that means capturing moments with him and reinforcing not only the emotion, but the meaning of my love for him.
I tell him I love you often, but at least once a day, I do it with intention.
I pause whatever we’re doing, stop in the moment, and look into his eyes. “Cub, I love you.” I wait until I see it click, and then I smile, and we hug. Sometimes he says it back, and sometimes he doesn’t, and it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he knows. What matters is that in that moment, and for the rest of his day, his week, his year, his life, he is loved.
His heart will be full of loves.
On the days that he’s home and I’m not, or he’s at school and I’m at work. On the days when he’s away at college, starting his first real job, or living on his own, I want his heart to be full. I pour it in even though I know the world will poke holes and try to drain it out. I pour it in because I know the world will poke holes and try to drain it out. And somehow, the love keeps coming. This precious gift from God that renews itself in a mother’s heart. It overflows. And, I know that one day, when I’m gone, the love will keep pouring down, into that precious heart. I love you.